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It Yourself with Rosie Fingers, Part 1
of us have heard the euphemism, "Rosie Palmer and her five friends."
We really don't have a female version for this, so we'll just call it: "Do
It Yourself With Rosie Fingers."
Masturbation is the ultimate form
of self-help and self-satisfaction. It is definitely taking matters into your
own hand, or hands. The plan is for this article to be in two installments. The
first giving the benefits of masturbation, and the second will include ways to
please yourself. So stay tuned: same dildo time and same dildo channel.
There are so many negative myths tied to masturbation, that we can repeat them
without thinking about it. If we touch ourselves THERE we will go blind, loose
our hair, get acne, grow hair on our palms, or go crazy. Of course, none of this
is true, but when we were kids how many times did you and your friends laugh about
people with thick glasses, thinning hair, and scratchy palms? Name your own teenage
chuckle, and fit it into the blank spot. We were also told that masturbation would
stunt our growth.
Strangely enough, there are so many of us that do please
ourselves, that if the myths were true, human beings would be in truly awful shape.
We'd be stunted, hairless, acne covered, hairy-palmed, wearing thick glasses,
and crazy. We probably wouldn't even be able to walk around with any coordination,
and would still be living in trees and hooting at the predators on the plains
while practicing self-indulgence to the exclusion of everything else. What an
attractive picture that brings to mind.
The funny thing is, that if you
have ever watched little kids, it is such a natural thing. Around the age of two
or three, most little kids start to notice their genitals, and spend a lot of
time manipulating them, because it feels good. There is no sexual fantasy at play
for children, just pure unadulterated pleasure. It just plain feels good!
I remember baby-sitting some little girls, one was two and the other three,
and when each one discovered their clitoris, their mother told them: "It's
OK to touch yourself, but it's not polite to do it when you are around other people."
This is where we get our first direction of a sexual nature concerning what
is "good" and what is "bad." Whatever our parents told us,
along with the tone of voice they used, their facial expressions and body language,
is what formed our earliest impressions about touching ourselves THERE.
Little girls seem to get even less leeway than little boys in this area. Look
at the taboos around touching yourself in public. It is common to see women, of
any age, looking around to make sure no one sees them, and then pulling their
underwear back into place.
Men, on the other hand, (no pun intended)
can be seen touching themselves a lot in public--no looking around to see if anyone
is watching, no embarrassment, just reach down and yank out the offending underwear,
or adjust themselves. I've also seen guys put their hands over their genitals
while sitting in a chair or standing. I had a male roommate who would stand around
and cup his genitals, just holding them gently, when he was in conversations with
people. He was aware he had this habit, but wasn't always aware when he did it,
and said that his brother and father did it as well. Can you imagine a woman doing
I had a female coworker who was embarrassed by her husband grabbing
his crotch all the time. In restaurants, stores, movie theaters, and home he would
check to make sure his penis was still attached to his body. His wife told him
that if he didn't stop, she'd walk around holding her boob. He didn't and she
did. As the story went, he was mortified that she would hold her boob in public,
but it was perfectly fine for him to grab himself whenever, and wherever, he felt
like it. OK, I will not get on my soapbox about sexual inequalities. Needless
to say, he stopped touching himself all the time.
So, what is the truth
about masturbation? It takes an interweaving of neurotransmitters and hormones
to stimulate the brain chemistry and physical reactions that bring about an orgasm.
The wonderful side effects of this help us physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
These benefits include: relieving stress, help for insomnia, the release of mood
elevating hormones, stimulating the immune system so that it can help improve
our health, relaxation of muscles, relief of some of the symptoms of premenstrual
issues,and decreasing pain. Some women receive the added benefit of relief of
menstrual pain but some do not.
During my partner's and my periods, a
common warning is: "Don't even think about touching me!" Just thinking
of sex, let alone an orgasm for either of us, doesn't relieve cramps but intensifies
them to the point of having to induce an ibuprofen stupor.
plus is that masturbation is the safest sex practice; no condoms, no dental dams,
and you also don't have to share your sex toys if you use them--they are yours
to do with what you want. There is absolutely no risk of getting a sexually transmitted
disease or infection, as long as you keep your toys clean and to yourself.
To wrap this up, and prove The Rolling Stones got it wrong, we can get satisfaction
for ourselves with self-stimulation. One of the biggest benefits of masturbation
is that you will become more familiar and understanding of your own sexual needs.
Once you understand your own needs, you can then share
these insights with
your partner, to help her help you become more sexually fulfilled. Learning the
things that turn you on and off, and knowing what your sexual responses are, gives
you the ability to tell your partner what you do and don't want. You can experiment
with yourself and discover how hard, how light, how deep, and how kinky you may
want to be, and see if your partner is willing to go there with you.
Until the next installment of The Naked Truth, feel free to take matters into
your own rosie fingers.
NOTE: The advice in this column is the opinion of the writers and is not intended
substitute for medical or psychological treatment from a health care
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