Lesbian Relationship Problems Advice

Lesbian Relationship Problems

Question:Why am I always attracted
to women who are bad for me?

First off, I’m so happy to hear that you are going to the San Francisco Pridefest! GOOD FOR YOU! This may be the first step in taking back the power in your situation.

The thing that may help you in the future is to figure out why you were attracted to your ex in the first place? Did you grow up with a lot of crazy-making behavior and disrespect? Were there things in your childhood that would make you attract a person like this? Just stuff to look at, because there is something going on here that makes these situations happen. It may be subconscious from something in your past, but whatever it is, I would bet that it’s in your face right now so that you can heal it.

The thing is, no one can make anyone feel or think anything, unless you allow it. When you say this woman had violent ex’s, it makes me think that she came out of a bad childhood and she may need to deal with some issues so that she can have healthy adult relationships.

The sad thing is is that you can not save her. She must figure out her own patterns and get help dealing with the past.

You have to control how you think and feel about this, and sometimes there is no understanding why, especially if the person you are dealing with may not even know why herself. Again, this is up to her to get help for her own issues, and it is up to you to take care of yourself and get help for you issues too.

With the things your ex has done, it sounds like really big manipulation to me, and that she is wanting conflict in her life. The question is, “Do you want conflict in your own life?” If no, then walk away for a while, or for good–whatever it takes to start feeling emotionally healthy again. You may never be able to be around her, or you may be friends in the future. It’s up to you who you let into your life.

To me, this is what taking back your power in this situation means. You don’t have to be mean or play games with her, just don’t allow her actions to make you crazy.
If she is the type of person I think she is, she is looking to make you nuts for whatever reason. When you feel and act all wild and crazy, then she is in control, when you feel and act calm then you are in control of yourself and your own life.

One thing I’ve noticed for myself, is the things I do not care for in other people, are usually the things I need to take a look at in my own life. Everyone really is a mirror to ourselves--back to the ol’ “One finger pointing at them, and three pointing right back at ourselves.”

Just be careful who you are feeling and attracting when you are out and about. Make yourself think positive thoughts any time a negative thought comes into your mind, and you should do great...