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Chapter
3
Sample Page
Plain
talk about safer sex
What
is “safer sex”?
Safer sex is a term used to let us know that no sex is the
only safe sex. The term “Safer Sex” comes from
the fact that no matter how cautious you are, accidents
can happen and there is always a chance of becoming infected
with an STD (sexually transmitted disease) when you are
intimate with a partner. At this time one in five adults
and one in four teenagers have been infected with an STD.
Fortunately, there are all sorts of things you can do to
help yourself stay healthy and to greatly decrease the possibility
of being exposed.
But I thought lesbians couldn’t get STDs from each
other.
If you think that, then you better cross your legs and pray,
because it can happen. There have been cases reported which
indicate that lesbians have exposed each other to HIV (human
immunodeficiency virus) as well as other types of STDs.
Although the number of cases is much lower than other risk
groups, it is still way better to be safe than sorry.
Lesbians can be infected with STDs by the following: having
unsafe sex with other lesbians or with bisexuals who have
been exposed through semen; sharing needles from IV drug
use; piercing or tattooing without the proper sterilization
techniques; having unsafe sex with men prior to realizing
they are lesbian; or having unscreened artificial insemination
and/or blood transfusions occurring primarily in the U.
S. before 1985. Many STDs are transmitted when blood, vaginal
fluids (including menstruation), breast milk, or semen from
an infected person enters your body or blood stream.
So what can I do to protect myself?
During the time when the acquired immune deficiency syndrome
(AIDS) was running totally rampant in the United States,
my stepdaughter came to me and asked, “What am I supposed
to do, never have sex?” She was dating a new boyfriend
she was serious about, and was upset by the media’s
constant bombardment saying the only way to be safe was
to totally abstain from any sexual activity, period. Our
little “lesbian family” had also known seventeen
people who succumbed to complications of AIDS in six months
time, so we were all pretty paranoid. Because I wasn’t
in a high-risk group I really didn’t know much more
than she did, but I did know that STDs have been around
probably as long as human beings have, and there are ways
to protect yourself from getting them.
When considering intimacy in a new relationship, the first
and most important thing is communication. I’ve known
some straight women who were too embarrassed to ask the
man they’d just picked up in a bar to wear a condom!
I’d look at them and ask “You mean you are willing
to get buck naked and screw like a wild dog in heat with
a near stranger, but you can’t talk about safe sex?
Now how crazy is that?” They’d give me all kinds
of excuses which essentially boiled down to the old idea
that the man knows best. Well, I say that’s pure B.
S.! Let’s not be like some of our straight sisters
and let other people decide our destiny. The great thing
about being lesbian is that we don’t have to play those
kinds of games. Most of us know when the other is faking
it, so let’s not fake safety. When the issue of being
together, really together, comes up, then it’s up to
one of you to bravely broach the subject of safer sex and
who’s done what.
Now I don’t mean you need to rehash every moan you’ve
ever made with lovers of the past, or digging up your most
embarrassing sexual moment. But what I do mean is honestly
look at your sexual histories and ask yourself and each
other the following question: In the past five years have
you or your partner, or ex-partners, participated in unsafe
behaviors listed in the previous section? If so, you may
want to have a general blood screening and an AIDS test.
Wait 3-6 months after your last risky behavior and have
a second test.
Since the virus HIV, which is thought to cause AIDS, can
be lingering in your body long before showing up in your
blood stream, it is a good idea to abstain from sex or use
safer sex practices both six months before and after your
AIDS test. Ask your health care professional for the latest
information on AIDS, and find out the best way to protect
both you and your partner from a potentially deadly virus.
HOW
TO BE A HAPPY LESBIAN, A COMING OUT GUIDE
©2005 by Amazing Dreams Publishing. All rights reserved.
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